The top commander in Afghanistan, General Stanley McCrystal, has been recalled. Because the brakes on the war were apparently made by Toyota. General McCrystal has resigned as top commander in Afghanistan after making unflattering remarks about the Obama administration in Rolling Stone Magazine. In order to expedite a full troop Read more…
A bus carrying the US soccer team was delayed in South Africa when a roaming elephant blocked the road. The pachyderm quickly moved along, however, when Britain’s goalie showed up and tried to stop it. Ratings for CNN continue to sag. When he heard the news, Larry King said, “I Read more…
Federal officials consulted with “Titanic” director James Cameron about capping the underwater oil leak. Furthermore, if we ever get attacked by aliens, Obama has Sigourney Weaver on speed dial. A pigeon has been detained in India under suspicion that it’s spying for Pakistan. Or maybe he’s planning a “coo”. A Read more…
BP now says the oil leak won’t be sufficiently stopped until August. So they probably plan to plug it up with Mets playoff tickets, which will be useless by then. A week after she was caught on tape soliciting money from the media for access to Prince Andrew, Duchess of Read more…
Environmental experts in Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana insist that the oil spill is the responsibility of BP and not the local population. Which is precisely why nobody has plugged it up with duct tape and a rag. President Obama said his administration is doing all it can to stop the Read more…