Writings

BP now says the oil leak won’t be sufficiently stopped until August. So they probably plan to plug it up with Mets playoff tickets, which will be useless by then.

A week after she was caught on tape soliciting money from the media for access to Prince Andrew, Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson said she was drunk at the time. But she may just be saying that to strengthen Britain’s relationship with Ireland.

An Indonesian woman needs help getting her two-year-old to break his smoking habit. In his defense, he says he only smokes when he’s got a sippy cup.

Angels first baseman Kendry Morales broke his leg while celebrating his game-winning homerun. Good news is…his agent is trying to put him out to stud.

Sources report that al Qaeda’s number 3 leader is dead. Since the death was unexpected, authorities out of habit questioned Michael Jackson’s doctor.

Al and Tipper Gore are getting a separation. I bet it’s over something silly like who left the cap off the solar panel or who forgot to fill the car up with pineapple juice.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer said she’s not worried about a possible lawsuit from the White House over her state’s immigration law. Because it’s not in her personality to fear anything “white”.

LeBron James told Larry King that he’s leaning toward staying in Cleveland. Because if anyone can relate to loyalty, it’s a man who’s had 8 divorces.

Hollywood is remaking the “Karate Kid”. It’s just like “Sex and the City 2”, only with a lot less waxing on and waxing off.

The mayor of Gary, Indiana is hoping to open a Michael Jackson museum in town. He wants to fill it with artifacts from MJ’s past, things like his sequin glove, his Grammy awards, his pigment.

A 13-year-old American boy successfully climbed Mount Everest. He would have done it when he was 12 years old, but a first base umpire tripped him at the very end.

A Minnesota woman gave birth while driving to the hospital. She figured that in such a rush, she could get there faster in the HOV lane.

A new study suggests that heavy cell phone use can cause cancer. Finally! Something to replace the worn out “I’m going through a tunnel so I have to go now” excuse.

Comments are closed.