Nancy Pelosi said that if the Democratic race doesn't resolve itself soon, she's ready to step in. Then Bill Clinton vomited after envisioning history's most unattractive threesome. A girl's father in Michigan bought her a new car for her perfect attendance in school. But to punish her for failing economics, Read more…
Drug companies are giving more to Democrats than Republicans . . . Hillary Clinton will now ask Pfizer to give Viagra to her delegate count. A biotech company in California plans to clone dogs. A spokesperson said that if this catches on, Kentucky may turn polygamist. Todd Davis, the pitchman Read more…
Gas prices have surpassed $4 a gallon. To explain the spike, Exxon/Mobil said that it has to recoup its loss after betting on Big Brown. Flood waters in Indiana soaked the state last week. Officials knew the problem was serious when John Mellencamp's new song just featured him gurgling. Officials Read more…
Entertainment News: Rap artist T-Pain got five BET Award nominations. However, he's expected to lose five times to T-Advil. Hannah Montana is debuting her new song, "7 Things". She got the title from looking at her dad's recent job application and replacing the word "Eleven" with the word "Things". Read more…
Hillary Clinton spent time campaigning in Gastonia, NC. With fuel prices so high, however, she renamed the city "Ethanol-tonia". Barack Obama held a social gathering at a roller-skating rink in Indiana. He admits that he may lose some support from local Star Trek fans, because at one point it will Read more…