Writings

Topicals April #1


April 8th, 2013

Rutgers University fired men’s basketball coach Mike Rice after video was released of him throwing balls at players and using homophobic slurs. In other words, someone really wants to be dodgeball coach for the Boy Scouts.

A new website has launched called “Chargerback” which helps people who have left items at hotels get them back. But if you visit Las Vegas, keep in mind the website cannot retrieve your dignity.

Philadelphia on Monday used clowns and mimes to silently scold drivers who were texting while driving. As expected, Philadelphia drivers responded with their own silent hand gesture.

As an April Fools Day prank, Lindsay Lohan on Monday tweeted, “It’s official. Pregnant…”. Because the prank would have been way too obvious if she said “sober”.

Hundreds of New York City fast food workers on Thursday walked off the job to protest low wages. They didn’t want to strike, but after making their demands last week, they got home and realized their order was way messed up.

For the first time since 1972, Louisville Slugger has changed how they produce their wooden baseball bats, which will provide a different sound during games. Except when they’re used by the Chicago Cubs, in which case you’ll still hear a loud whiffing sound.

The Associated Press announced this week that it will no longer use the term “illegal immigrant”, except maybe in print media where nobody will see it.

The city council of Nelson, Georgia voted unanimously Monday to make gun ownership in the town mandatory. They said the new law should make the devil think twice before he goes back to Georgia, looking for a soul to steal.

This week marked the 500th anniversary of Ponce de Leon discovering Florida. Florida residents celebrated by telling their personal accounts of that voyage.

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