Writings

NBC has now become the number one network on television due mostly to The Voice, whereas ESPN continues to succeed despite theirs.

A paleontologist has named a newly discovered extinct lizard from the Cretaceous era Obamadon gracilis in honor of President Obama, presumably because Republicans have enough dinosaurs.

On Wednesday Pope Benedict answered questions from Catholics using his Twitter account. His first tweet was, “No, I cant make Mass be this short. Please RT.”

Shoppers at an IKEA in Canada were surprised when a small monkey was found wandering the store wearing a fitted faux shearling coat and diapers. IKEA quickly captured the monkey and put him back to work answering phones at customer service.

A man in Washington State, who plowed a giant marriage proposal message into a 200-acre field, misspelled his fiancée’s name. Even worse, he got her a 3 “carrot” ring.

Amsterdam this week became the first city in the Netherlands to ban students from smoking marijuana at school. And just like that, art class got boring again.

A new generation of tests are being developed to help diagnose food poisoning. They’re being developed by people who apparently have never had food poisoning.

A man in China is claiming that his dog can successfully add figures that include fractions. Making it safe to say that even China’s back-up players are embarrassing us.

Belgian researchers have developed a new contact lens that can also operate as a computer screen. They’re for people who need glasses but would rather see through dust.

A bar in Washington State that would allow patrons to smoke cigarettes for a 10 dollar annual fee says that it will now allow people to also smoke marijuana. Those patrons will have no annual fee…but there’s a much longer dinner menu.

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