Writings

Party conventions are now in the rearview mirror. Which explains the severe warning that Chris Christie is actually larger than he appears.

Ohio Governor Ted Strickland said that if Mitt Romney were Santa Claus, he would sell the reindeer and outsource the elves. And Harry Reid would be bitching that he’s hiding old naughty and nice reports.

After omitting the word “God” from the Democratic platform, party planners put it back in. It was probably just a coincidence that they did so after those storm clouds showed up.

Thursday night’s speeches at the DNC were moved indoors because of bad weather looming. Delegates later learned that it wasn’t cloudy at all. Bill Clinton was just casting a wide shadow.

Election Day will be here in about sixty days. Or roughly two horrendous job reports.

Paul Ryan was caught lying about how long it took him to finish a marathon he ran over 20 years ago. In his defense, the whole thing probably wore him out and he was just drained of mental energy. It’s like he was watching two political campaigns.

In a new survey, the average amount the Tooth Fairy leaves under a pillow has risen to $3.00. Which explains why she filed for bankruptcy in Arkansas.

Magician David Copperfield said he purchased a newly discovered audio tape of an interview with Martin Luther King, Jr. For safe keeping, he hid it behind someone’s ear.

A quarter of people surveyed said they have witnessed wrongdoing in the workplace. The other three quarters don’t work in Congress.

A recent survey shows that with the rise of texting and instant chat, fewer and fewer people are using voice mail. In fact, the only person who only uses voice mail is Anthony Weiner. #LessonLearned

The number-one film over Labor Day Weekend was “The Possession”. Contrary to popular belief, it is not based on real American events. If it were, it would be called “The Re-Possession”.

As expected, the national debt topped 16-trillion dollars this week. To get a visual of that, picture a 9-inning box score for the Mets, and then put a 16 in front of it.

A new study reveals that there is no added nutritional advantage to organic vegetables versus conventional vegetables. But they still provide 100% of your daily allowance of pretentiousness.

A secret service truck was stolen on Monday. Authorities said when they catch the culprit, he will be charged with both grand theft and for violating the “If this truck’s-a-rocking…” sign.

A tornado hit New York City over the weekend. Experts agree…it may be the only touch down Jets fans see for a while.

Comments are closed.

  • debutant