Writings

Mitt Romney has collected over $70,000 from NBA owners and executives. It’s a huge shock. Usually they pay a lot less for guys who can’t go left.

It was revealed that on a trip to Israel last year, Rep. Kevin Yoder of Kansas went swimming in the nude in the Sea of Galilee. Apparently for some politicians, government isn’t the only thing they want to shrink.

Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are calling their ticket “America’s Comeback Team”. But only because we can safely say…the Mets aren’t making the playoffs.

It was announced that Ann Romney will speak at the Republican National convention in Tampa. She said she planned to open with a joke, but Herman Cain was unavailable.

2004 Presidential nominee John Kerry will speak at the Democratic convention in Charlotte. It’s all part of his 2012 “Horseshoes and Hand Grenades Tour”.

A high school in Oklahoma is denying a valedictorian her diploma after she used the word “hell” in a speech. In her defense, she was describing the upcoming search for a job.

Augusta National Golf Club has for the first time admitted women into its ranks. Next up…upgrading their VHS tapes and LP records.

President Obama hosted a hoops-themed fundraiser in New York City featuring various stars from the NBA. Things went great until he told the Miami Heat, “Congratulations on your title, but you didn’t build that.”

New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin was very angry after learning that someone video taped a locker room prank. Same for Jets coach Rex Ryan, if by “locker room prank” you mean “a real game on Sunday”.

50-year-old Roger Clemens came back to baseball, pitching for the minor league Sugar Land Skeeters this week. Yes, it was a first for baseball…Steroids laced with Metamucil.

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