Writings

In hopes of finding a new source of revenue, North Korea this week opened its borders to limited tour groups, however tourists cannot bring mobile devices, they must restrict their movement and have to avoid even the most casual contact with daily life. North Korea’s new name: “Disneyland for Grampa”.

A growing number of Starbucks in New York City are closing off their bathrooms to the general public. In a related story, Starbucks customers are now ordering one drink, but two cups.

While speaking at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation on Sunday, President Obama said that the US was tired of China’s trade practices and that it should start acting like a “grown up” in economic affairs. Which is exactly what a parent would tell a child when he owes that child over 1 trillion dollars.

Two Occupy Wall Street protesters were married Sunday in Zuccotti Park, six weeks after they first met at the rally. Witnesses thought it was a big joke, especially when the preacher said, “For richer or poorer”.

In an effort to keep their military in shape, Russian officials will be providing their troops with 10,000 badminton rackets. A move that sends shivers down the spines of whatever country uses an army of shuttlecocks.

The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute is recommending that children be tested for high cholesterol before they reach puberty. Testing for high cholesterol: just one more thing 13 year old boys can claim to be doing when asked why they’re in the bathroom so long.

Herman Cain acknowledged that he once told Karen Kraushaar that she was as tall as his wife and pointed to under his chin. He didn’t say, however, whether or not “chin” was a nickname for his belly button.

A zoo in Canada is planning to separate two male penguins who have been displaying signs of having a same-sex relationship. They will reunite next year when Hollywood makes the movie Happy But Curious Feet.

Director Brett Ratner resigned as producer of the Academy Awards show after creating an uproar over a gay slur in an interview. In a statement, he said, “I’ll just go work for the Tony Awards. What? They are? Aw, crap!”

ABC announced that on Thanksgiving it will air a 90 minute prime-time Lady Gaga special called “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving.” Finally, something to watch during the holidays to make your family look normal.

A new popular trend among high school students is “boozy bears,” which are gummy bears soaked with alcohol. A not so popular trend: Math Mints. 

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