Writings

During the first Republican debate, the candidates really ganged up and bashed President Obama. They agreed the pinata approach was the only thing they had to get the Latino vote.

Anthony Weiner announced his resignation but made it sound like he could possibly come back. And you thought sext messages were the only thing he had in common with Brett Favre.

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman declined an invitation to join the debate. Apparently to Utah folks, “the more the merrier” is a phrase that only applies to marriage.

It was finally revealed that the blog by a Syrian lesbian in Damascus was actually a hoax. An overblown gay joke? Sounds like the WNBA is going global.

Major League Baseball is thinking of realigning its teams. Which is a very nice way of saying, “Welcome to double-A, Mets!”

Al Qaeda has a new leader. In other words, Pakistan has a new #1 in its Top Ten Most Ignored.

Macy’s accidentally ran an ad in the Miami Herald congratulating the Heat on winning the NBA Championship. To make it up to Miami fans, Macy’s has offered to blow up its Thanksgiving Day parade balloons with Lebron’s hot air.

Barry Manilow has a new CD coming out called “15 Minutes”. Unfortunately, it’s four times that long.

US airlines collected over $3 billion in bag fees last year. That’s what happens when you hire baggage handlers from Ohio State’s football team.

Tim Pawlenty compared Obama’s healthcare plan with Mitt Romney’s, calling it “Obamneycare”. He stopped short of comparing the unemployment numbers with Newt Gingrich’s failed marriages, however, saying the jobs report isn’t that dismal.

Sarah Palin did not participate in the first GOP debate. She explained that not getting involved at first is very American, like when the Pilgrims sat out of the first 4th of July fireworks show.

A 90-year-old man in Florida completed a triathalon. He won’t say what his secret is, but Barry Bonds was seen spiking his Viagra.

In Japan, a rabbit was born with no ears. It’s how natural selection works if you subject animals to Lady Gaga.

25-year-old Crystal Harris called off her wedding to Hugh Hefner. Hef’s parents were the most upset since they really wanted grand-fossils.

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