Writings

Barack Obama said that if he were in Anthony Weiner’s position, he would resign. Then he made clear that his was a much larger stimulus package.

Democrat leaders are pleading with Anthony Weiner to step aside. Literally. He’s always just standing there, blocking the mirror.

Apple unveiled the new “iCloud”. Basically, they finally gave a name to where your kid’s head is when you’re trying to talk to him while he’s texting.

Wildfires in Arizona are affecting air quality. In fact, the air in some spots is so brown, police asked for ID.

Ron Blagojevich said he wants to take the witness stand. Probably so he can try and sell it.

Over 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin’s emails were released. She said that’s one page for every word of Paul Revere’s Gettysburg Address Thingy.

NFL team owners and players remain locked out in a long, boring stalemate. Oh my God, it’s like watching soccer.
One of the points of contention is the salary cap. They’re debating if it should remain where it is, or if they should raise it to Ohio State standards.

LeBron James said he doesn’t care about personal stats. And by “personal stats”, of course, he means “Cleveland”.

A lunar eclipse is set to take place this week. If you don’t know what a lunar eclipse is, it’s what happens when sunlight’s path to the moon is blocked by the US debt.

The upcoming lunar eclipse will not be seen by most of the U.S. It must be sponsored by DISH Network.

The new movie “Super 8” was a huge success at the box office this past weekend. Which is the first time the words “huge success” and “Super 8” have ever been used in the same sentence.

There’s a new biography about Machiavelli that argues he was not a bad person. After the book was released, the author was immediately retained by Dominique Strauss Kahn.

Tiger Woods won’t play in the US Open. He says it’s because of knee problems, but it’s probably because all the beer cart girls are all dudes.

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