Writings

Hillary Clinton is busy planning the wedding of her daughter Chelsea. Who wants to bet the bridesmaid dresses aren’t blue?

President Obama hopes to double the number of U.S. exports over the next five years. But he still objects to Arizona having that same goal.

Former hot dog eating champion Takeru Kobayashi was arrested on charges of trespassing and resisting arrest. Police say he’ll have to swallow his pride, maybe even 55 times in ten minutes.

Drug charges against Paris Hilton in South Africa were dropped. But she’s still being charged with being even more annoying than those vuvuzelas.

Britney Spears said she doesn’t want her sons in show business. Coincidentally, they said the same thing about her.

Various celebrities are posing nude in a new ad campaign for PETA. Now there are TWO definitions to the phrase, “You can really see Mel Gibson’s nuts.”

The Navy wants to use a blimp to direct oil clean up efforts. But sources close to her said Kirstie Alley isn’t interested.

Intelligence experts estimate that there are thousands of Russian spies in the U.S. And they’re all hiding in Justin Bieber’s hair.

JFK Airport was evacuated on July 4th after someone called in a bomb threat. Authorities were able to clear the terminal by telling travelers the in-flight movie on every plane would be “The Last Airbender”.

RNC Chairman Michael Steele was caught on tape saying that the war in Afghanistan is “unwinnable”. He explained later that he was talking about the Army’s chances of signing LeBron James.

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