Writings

The media in North Korea has been reporting that the track suits worn by their leader Kim Jong Il have become fashion hits around the world. Which only fuels the theory that North Korea is enriching uranium for a Hot Tub Time Machine.

Tiger Woods created a stir at the Augusta National golf course on Tuesday, when he took out his cell phone and appeared to be texting someone. Since he did so on the tee box, he was cited for “texting while driving”.

The US military has announced that it will be closing fast food restaurants on military bases in Afghanistan and reminded soldiers that they are at war and not in “an amusement park”. However, the Army will keep signs that say, “You must be this tall to fight the Taliban.”

A 102 year-old woman in China has gone back to elementary school to realize her dream of getting a diploma. And to help a nerd realize his dream of no longer being the last pick in gym class.

This weekend is the premiere of the new reality show “Basketball Wives,” which follows the wives and girlfriends of NBA players. The biggest reality: NBA marriages end in divorce when there’s a 24-second shot clock in the bedroom.

Three women traveling aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery joined another woman already aboard the International Space Station, leading to the most women in outer space at the same time…Tying the record set everyday on The View.

A spa in China has developed a new therapy treatment in which patients are wrapped in oil-soaked blankets and then set on fire. No word on what it costs, but Chinese officials say it’s totally free if anyone tries to access Google.

NASA has signed a 335 million dollar deal with the Russian Space Agency to provide round trips to the International Space Station after the space shuttle is retired later this year. They could get a refund, however, if someone books a lower fare on Orbitz.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai angered the Obama administration this week when he claimed that the US is to blame for local election fraud in his country. “That’s ridiculous,” said the White House. “Ditto,” said the Kandahar ACORN office.

About two dozen women removed their tops and marched through Portland, Maine this past weekend to promote equal-opportunity public toplessness, saying that a woman without a shirt on should not attract any more attention than a man without a shirt. A point that was lost after they ironically attracted a whole lot of attention.

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