Writings

One of the balloons in the Macy’s Parade was Shrek. It’s especially unique this year because it’s the only green thing whose butt isn’t stuck to Al Gore’s lips.

There was also a balloon that looked like the werewolf from New Moon, but it turned about a close-up of Donald Trump’s hair.

The Obamas hosted their first state dinner this week. There was an awkward moment after the first course when the President conferenced his staff before making a decision to send in more food.

The dinner was for Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh – who is a strict vegetarian. Or as Sarah Palin puts it…the axis of weird.

The day before Thanksgiving was again the busiest travel day of the year. There were so many planes over New York today, Captain Sully actually got Canadian geese to surrender.

Today is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year. Not everyone gets involved, though. In fact, the Yankees said, “We don’t buy our players until around January.”

Yesterday, a man here in New York unveiled a turkey soaked in 100-proof vodka for three days before being cooked. He calls the new dish “Paula Abdul’s liver”.

24-year-old Nicole Johnson was crowned Miss California 2010 on Sunday night. Her talent was singing and not being Carrie Prejean.

The Obama administration is in talks with its European allies to send as many as 7,000 more troops to Afghanistan. The French are committed…they’re already making 7,000 white flags.

An auction house in London is selling a rare first edition of Charles Darwin’s book “On the Origin of Species”. It will be auctioned off along with a copy of “Going Rogue” to prove that evolution doesn’t apply to books.

A doctor in North Carolina could lose his medical license after he criticized a patient for being irresponsible, fat, and unemployed. He later said he mistook his patient for the head coach at Notre Dame.

Larry King’s 10-year-old son, Chance King, just signed a deal to host a children’s TV show on FOX Sports Net about baseball. He’s really excited because his first episode is about how to get to first base.

A couple in England named their new daughter Kia – after she was delivered in the back seat of a Kia. “Isn’t destiny just great?!” said her sarcastic big sister Greyhound Bus.

The above were also submitted to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and This Just In.

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