Writings

During his weekly radio and Internet address last week, Obama stressed that overhauling the health care system is essential to the country’s economic well-being.  Unfortunately, the bad economy is a pre-existing condition, so it’s not covered.

The White House is sending a chain email to Democrats, offering reasons to support President Obama’s health care plan and debunking myths about it.  The email says the plan will succeed, but only if everyone sends it to 20 people in 30 seconds and gives their bank information to a Nigerian prince.

During his town hall meeting in New Hampshire, Obama said the debate over health care should be civilized, and should be “with each other, not over each other.”  Then he said, “Oh, wait…these are my notes for Hillary’s trip to Congo.”

58% of Americans have a favorable opinion of Bill Clinton, while 53% have a favorable opinion of Hillary Clinton.  Even worse for Hillary, Americans in the survey were answering the question, “What do you think of the Secretary of State?”

This weekend was the opening of the movie “District 9″.  If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a really scary horror film about the last place congressmen must visit for a town hall meeting about health care.

University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino has admitted to having an extramarital affair.  Fans knew something was wrong when he scheduled to play teams all along the Appalachian Trail.

Sarah Palin changed her Twitter account yesterday to @SarahPalinUSA – getting rid of her old username @AKGovSarahPalin.  She also promised to stick to 140 characters per tweet, but usually quits after about 70.

The skeleton of a 66-million-year-old Tyrannosaurus Rex will go up for auction this October in Las Vegas.  It’s expected to stir up fond memories for the 66-million-year-old ladies playing the slots.

Police in Britain arrested a man who stole $65 million in merchandise from a jewelry store in broad daylight.  He was easy to catch.  He was the guy with the big set of of family jewels.

A New York-based sporting goods company donated new baseball equipment to the Iraqi national baseball team.  Unfortunately for Team Baghdad, it’s the Mets.

MTV will leave its studio in Times Square at the end of the year.  Fans are upset, because Times Square without MTV is like watching a music channel that never shows music videos.

A woman in Brooklyn used Facebook to track down the boy who stole her son’s bicycle.  It was easy, because he lived in Brooklyn, and he graduated from I Stole Your Son’s Bicycle High School.

An article in Forbes magazine says that because of e-mail, IM-ing and texting – sexual harassment is now more subtle than it was 20 years ago.  But men need to understand that j/k means frowny face, and frowny face means no, and no means no.

Beginning in September, a department store in London will begin serving “The Sex Pistol” – a “Viagra” ice cream.  Flavors will come in vanilla and chocolate, which coincidentally are also the sizes.

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