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Tennis superstar Venus Williams appeared on "Larry King Live" last night.  With as many failed marriages under Larry's belt, it's only natural to welcome a guest who also believes that "love" means nothing. 

Farmers in South Dakota are fighting a decision to build a new oil refinery on their land.  Federal officials defended their decision, saying, "We had no idea people still lived in that state."

Scientists have revealed that Mars looks a lot like Alaska.  Wow!  How did angry environmentalists who like impeding progress get to Mars? 

A new "Star Wars" video game is coming out entitled "The Force Unleashed".  Coincidentally, that's exactly what fans planned on calling their first encounter with sex. 

William Peterson is leaving the cast of "CSI" after nine years, or the approximate amount of time it actually takes to solve a crime in this country. 

"Barenaked Ladies" singer Steven Page was arrested on cocaine charges.  He'll spend the next few days adding the word "bail" to the lyrics of the song "If I Had a Million Dollars"

A leaked video offers a rare glimpse into interrogation tactics at Guantanamo Bay.  It doesn't show any water boarding, however, which explains why President Bush only gave it a one-star rating on YouTube. 

An international court has charged Sudanese president Omar al-Bashir with genocide.  Not to be outdone, he then charged his people with violating the street code of not snitching. 

Harley-Davidson will open a museum in Milwaukee.  On opening day, customers are encouraged to show their mid-life crisis and get in free!

Barack Obama is very upset at "The New Yorker" for printing a cover that depicts him as a terrorist.  The magazine apologized, and said it will use next month's issue to address his jihad, er, uh . . . complaint.

Barack Obama says he now regrets putting his two daughters on TV during an interview.  He later admitted that because it was on "Access Hollywood", he didn't expect anyone to actually see it. 

Wife of Yankee star Alex Rodriguez is seeking evidence of him spying on her.  So far she's found nothing, which means she checked his championship trophy case. 

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