Writings

The number of liquor licenses in Boston is not keeping up with the city’s rising population. As a result, hundreds of local bars and restaurants are forced to stay dry. “It’s bad for business. Without liquor, nobody needs me,” said a bartender near Fenway Park. “Ditto,” said a fat chick.

Ford announced that the Taurus has reached its end. In a huge misunderstanding at company headquarters, all employees born between April 20 and May 20 were shot.

Scientists at the University of Kentucky have developed a safer pill bottle. “Pill Safe” uses a small amount of rocket fuel to ignite the bottle’s contents if someone tries to get more than the necessary amount of pills out at once. That’s a great idea, because if it’s one thing suicidal people need, it’s condensed rocket fuel. Engineers also plan to design a gun that explodes with dynamite if pointed at your own head.

Bill Foss of St. Joseph, Minnesota won the prize for growing the biggest pumpkin after it tipped the scales at 1,213 pounds. Foss won a blue ribbon, $1,000 cash, and a job with BALCO.

At a special event last week, radio hosts from around the country broadcast live from the White House lawn, where they interviewed administration officials and top senators. With that many talking heads and politicians present at once, head groundskeepers said the lawn won’t need fertilizing for at least a year.

In a special promotion, Taco Bell offered everyone in America a beef taco if any player hit a homerun to left field in Game 3 of the World Series. With no round-trippers that game, the restaurant paid nothing. Domino’s, however, is bankrupt after offering a free pizza to every household any time a Tigers pitcher made a throwing error.

In Beloit, Wisconsin, a symbolic funeral was held to lay to rest the offensive term known as the “n-word”. The deceased is survived by his c-word wife and his S.O.B. kids.

A man who became lost more than 1,000 miles away from his home last month claims he suffered severe amnesia and cannot recall his own life nor recognize his fiancé. Somewhere, that Runaway Bride girl is kicking herself, saying, “Ah, dammit! Amnesia! I should have thought of that one!”

In a recent Harris Interactive survey of movie fans, Paris Hilton is the celebrity that people would most like to see as a victim in a horror movie. When the poll results were released, 100% of male respondents admitted their mistake: “Oh, wait…hor-ror movie?”

Software companies in California plan to design video games that promote better health to kids. Because if it’s one thing a bunch of fat kids needs, it’s more video games.

Famed astrophysicist Stephen Hawking is divorcing his wife. The man’s a genius.

A company in Michigan is selling Major League Baseball team logos on caskets for those literal die-hard sports fans. The city of Chicago is concerned, however, that the Cubs logo will keep the deceased from reaching the promised land.

A recent study of hospitals has revealed that the number of men who rush to the ER is significantly lower during sporting events than after. It should be noted that this study was taken in Florida, where most post-game hospital guests just brawled with the University of Miami football team.

Over 2,000 people were vaccinated in Maryland at the country’s first ever drive-thru flu clinic. Everyone praised the convenience, only to realize after getting home that their order was totally screwed up.

A 70-year-old nursing home resident is accused of slashing her roommate with a pair of scissors. In an unfortunate state of confusion, the victim tried to defend herself with paper instead of rock.

An old woman was arrested after using bogus names and identities of 17 fictitious children to bilk welfare programs out of thousands of dollars. Lori Thompson was busted when she told welfare officials that she lived in a shoe.

India has officially changed the name of Bangalore to “Bengaluru”. The announcement continues a recent trend that has seen Bombay become Mumbai, Madras become Chennai, and Calcutta become Kolkata. When you phone AOL customer service, however, tech assistants will continue to say they’re from Cincinnati.

Hundreds of kilos of cocaine washed ashore a beach in Portugal last month. The country’s navy suspected a problem when fish in the area wouldn’t shut the hell up.

105 responses to “Topical Insights for November”

  1. Bryanapony says:

    Wholesale LeGarrette Blount Jersey
    auxCheap Jerseys from china nhwf d r q g

  2. Bryanapony says:

    throwback jerseys
    npnauthentic cheap jerseys pwxl d q j q

  3. Bryanapony says:

    throwback nba jerseys
    wddcheap nfl jerseys qzgp p t j u

  4. Bryanapony says:

    [url]http://www.cheapjerseysnflnike.com/jake-matthews-jerseys-p_69655.html][Authentic NFL Jerseys[/url]
    ekscheap jerseys supply ttsz r t u r

  5. Bryanapony says:

    [url]http://www.bestnflcheapjerseys.com/nick-adenhart-jerseys-p_34477.html][cheap jerseys[/url]
    cqcwholesale nhl jerseys lnjh z s b i

  6. Bryanapony says:

    [url]http://www.cheapjerseysnflnike.com/owen-daniels-jerseys-p_19927.html][Elite Owen Daniels Jerseys[/url]
    cbvwholesale nhl jerseys gcvx x n e o

  7. Bryanapony says:

    [url]http://www.cheapjerseysnflnike.com/matt-ryan-jerseys-p_72533.html][Wholesale Matt Ryan Jerseys[/url]
    jroauthentic cheap jerseys zopd t j w d

  8. Bryanapony says:

    Giavotella Jerseys
    peyauthentic jerseys xtgy x t y h

  9. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    bzhcheap china jerseys vupv u z w n

  10. Bryanapony says:

    Alex Smith Jerseys
    earwholesale nhl jerseys vrov y u d i

  11. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    npdjerseys supply xmhg v i c s

  12. Bryanapony says:

    wholesale jerseys
    jyuwholesale nhl jerseys rvyp r m n i

  13. Bryanapony says:

    cheap football jerseys
    qlzCheap Jerseys china agos q v h e

  14. Bryanapony says:

    cheap jerseys from china
    tfpCheap Jerseys free shipping bxni e j u r

  15. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    demCheap Jerseys china pgkt t v o d

  16. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    btawholesale nhl jerseys ojwp m t k r

  17. Bryanapony says:

    Cheap Jon Bostic Jersey
    ltvCheap Jerseys from china gbnq w y n x

  18. Bryanapony says:

    http://www.fakeoakleys.cn/ fake oakleys
    yfvwholesale mlb jerseys mfmd c x k q

  19. Bryanapony says:

    Jerseys
    kfgCheap Jerseys china casi q c e c

  20. Bryanapony says:

    nba jerseys sales
    qkqcheap jerseys ipkp e w a f

  21. Bryanapony says:

    https://www.oakleyblackfridaysales.com/ cheap oakley sunglasses
    gnmcheap jerseys supply aryc a s d f

  22. Bryanapony says:

    https://www.oakleyme.com/ replica oakley sunglasses
    wdqwholesale nhl jerseys egsv u o o e

  23. Bryanapony says:

    Cheap Matt Forte Jersey
    eeuwholesale jerseys from china mvvq o d w v

  24. Bryanapony says:

    Authentic Jerseys
    prnwholesale nfl jerseys fzin u s p n

  25. Bryanapony says:

    NFL Jerseys
    kyxauthentic jerseys uqvu h c n h

  26. Bryanapony says:

    Wholesale Shane Carden Jersey
    xxrwholesale jerseys from china wnlf u c p w

  27. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    qjncheap china jerseys ucwj w q k h

  28. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    hrecheap jerseys utoa m h x y

  29. Bryanapony says:

    NFL Jerseys
    ixfwholesale nhl jerseys ceos p y v b

  30. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    teywholesale jerseys from china infs k y l y

  31. Bryanapony says:

    Wilson Jerseys China
    ohtauthentic jerseys qoah v s k l

  32. Bryanapony says:

    /url]
    rhsCheap Jerseys china dtfs q v v d

  33. Maida Umana says:

    Oh my goodness! An amazing article. Thank you. However I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with my meetup group. We discuss this issue a lot, so your insights will be very well received by the group.

  34. English not my native language.you’re in reality a good webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible. It sort of feels that you’re doing any unique trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a great job on this topic!

  35. Keith Alberstadt – Comedian
    fitflop soldes

  36. Keith Alberstadt – Comedian
    fitflop pas cher

  37. Comtrol ES says:

    I sorry for my English.Whats up very nice website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also.I’m happy to search out so many helpful information right here in the submit, we need develop more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  38. Sorry for my bad English.Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  39. pron best says:

    ikrCml The Hargrove clip was part of the biggest obstacles for Michael Kors Handbags Outlet and it

  40. My brother recommended I would possibly like this blog. He was entirely right. This post actually made my

  41. hungry mate says:

    Some genuinely prime posts on this web site, bookmarked.

  42. refinances could be a great method to ramp up a new financial plan.

  43. It’а†s in reality a nice and useful piece of information. I am happy that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  44. This is a topic which is close to my heart Best wishes! Where are your contact details though?

  45. شهرزاد says:

    This is one awesome post.Really thank you! Will read on…

  46. دانلود says:

    pretty beneficial stuff, overall I believe this is well worth a bookmark, thanks

  47. A round of applause for your blog post. Really Great.

  48. Really informative blog article.Thanks Again. Awesome.

  49. Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you ever been running a blog for? you make blogging glance easy. The overall glance of your website is wonderful, let alone the content material!

  50. It as hard to find experienced people on this subject, however, you seem like you know what you are talking about! Thanks

  51. Thanks for the article.Thanks Again. Really Great.

  52. دانلود says:

    Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this write-up and also the rest of the website is very good.

  53. See It Here says:

    I sorry for my English.I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thank you, I’ll try and check back more often. How frequently you update your web site?

  54. English not my native language.Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

  55. 迷你仓 says:

    This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I ave joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

  56. Say, you got a nice blog.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

  57. the posts are too brief for novices. May you please lengthen them a little

  58. I really liked your blog article.Thanks Again. Will read on

  59. bowtrol.us says:

    Thanks a whole lot for sharing this with all of us you essentially know what you will be speaking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my web page =). We could have a link exchange contract among us!

  60. Really enjoyed this blog.Really thank you! Fantastic.

  61. Loving the info on this web site, you have done great job on the content.

  62. semrush says:

    You made a few nice points there. I did a search on the theme and found nearly all people will have the same opinion with your blog.

  63. Qnet says:

    This article has truly peaked my interest. I am going to bookmark

  64. fe cc shop says:

    This is one awesome article post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on

  65. There is definately a lot to find out about this issue. I like all of the points you have made.

  66. Italian trap says:

    Very neat article.Really thank you! Fantastic.

  67. you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site

  68. Keith Alberstadt – Comedian
    fitflop sandal

  69. Say, you got a nice blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

  70. Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological world everything is available on web?

  71. Thank you, I ave recently been looking for info about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I ave discovered till now. But, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the source?

  72. You made some clear points there. I looked on the internet for the issue and found most guys will approve with your website.

  73. link m88 says:

    Looking around I like to look in various places on the web, regularly I will go to Digg and follow thru

  74. Whats up this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if

  75. There is noticeably a bundle to understand about this. I assume you made certain nice points in capabilities also.

  76. I really liked your blog post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

  77. Im grateful for the blog.Really thank you! Great.

  78. This content has a lot of great information that is apparently intended to make you think. There are excellent points made here and I agree on many. I like the way this content is written.

  79. pretty useful stuff, overall I imagine this is really worth a bookmark, thanks

  80. we came across a cool site that you simply could possibly love. Take a search for those who want

  81. Excellent Post. Definitely it will aid good deal of folks. Thanks for your post.

  82. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this write-up and also the rest of the website is also very good.

  83. Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write on my blog something like that. Can I implement a part of your post to my blog?

  84. I truly appreciate this article post.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

  85. Muchos Gracias for your post.Much thanks again.

  86. This is a very good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise info Thank you for sharing this one. A must read post!

  87. Nice blog here! Also your site lots up fast! What web host are you the use of? Can I am getting your associate link in your host? I want my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  88. There is certainly a great deal to learn about this issue. I really like all of the points you ave made.

  89. I see something truly interesting about your web blog so I saved to my bookmarks .

  90. roofer says:

    Major thanks for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.

  91. Elmira Virgo says:

    As soon as I detected this site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.

  92. Really appreciate you sharing this article post.Really thank you!

  93. Tirage gratuit des cartes divinatoires logiciel astrologie mac

  94. Utterly composed articles , thanks for entropy.

  95. Thank you for sharing with us, I think this website truly stands out : D.

  96. The Silent Shard This may possibly be pretty valuable for a few of one as employment I plan to will not only with my website but

  97. You completed a number of fine points there. I did a search on the theme and found the majority of people will agree with your blog.

  98. Keith Alberstadt – Comedian
    mackage canada

  99. ios apps says:

    You ave made some decent points there. I looked on the internet for more information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.

  100. Some really good info , Gladiola I observed this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.