Baseball Jokes Sept 10

September 12th, 2016

Farmers in New Brunswick immortalized Joe Bautista’s famous bat flip by mowing it into a cornfield. Not to be outdone, farmers in Kansas City mowed into a cornfield an image of Bautista watching the World Series on TV.

After a game last week, Mike Trout was involved in a car wreck. Thankfully it wasn’t a train wreck, otherwise fans might think he got traded to the Reds.

Brian Dozier is on a homerun tear since the All Star break, making the Twins the front runner to win this year’s “Too Little, Too Late” Award.

The Mets signed Tim Tebow to a minor league contract. Then they fired their chief scout, which many believe is just a Magic 8 Ball.

The announcement comes just days after the Braves were in talks with Tebow. Apparently the former quarterback isn’t the only one in baseball who knows when to call an audible.

The Braves said earlier this week they had an interest in Tim Tebow. They made the announcement in their weekly newsletter “Really, How Worse Can It Get?”.

Braves GM John Coppolella said their interest in Tebow was because of his promise on the field, not as an attraction to sell tickets. Then he expressed interest in signing Beyonce and praised her pitching.

David Wright flew to Los Angeles for a neck examination and could face some tough questions about his future. Tough break. Usually when someone experiences a pain in the neck going cross country, it’s because they flew Spirit Air.

It was a scary moment when a line drive hit Angels pitcher Matt Shoemaker in the head. But what made it really upsetting–he was immediately asked to do a commercial for Redd’s Apple Ale.

The top of the AL East is getting congested. If that race gets any tighter, we’re going to start seeing negative ads.

A swarm of midges interrupted a game at Progressive Field. Cleveland fans said it was the most aggravating thing they’ve experienced not named the Browns.

According to wikipedia, midges are tiny insects that are attracted to heat, moisture, and World Series droughts.

The Giants’ epic collapse is difficult to fathom. But it does explain their new sponsorship deal with Jenga.

Thursday marked the 18th anniversary of Mark McGwire breaking Roger Maris’s record. It also marked the 18th anniversary of when most people learned how to spell asterisk.

*The above jokes can also be seen on crookedscoreboard.com as part of my feature column “The Stadt Sheet”.

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