President Obama on Monday defended his new proposed tax rate for millionaires saying “This is not class warfare, it’s math.” Then, as if on cue, Joe Biden was caught cheating off the the Asian kid.

An artist in England is selling jewelry crafted from human hair. “Yay! More business!” said local divorce lawyers.

New York Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera on Monday broke the Major League record for most saved games with 602. Said long-time Yankees fans, “He’s one of the best ever.” Said long-time Mets fans, “What’s a saved game?”

A new report shows that each year more than 500 New Yorkers are injured by bicyclists. 600 if you count injuries from Chinese food poisoning.

PETA announced plans this week to launch a new porn site to help raise awareness about veganism by mixing images of naked women with images of animals suffering. It will be the only adult website that neither encourages nor discourages choking a chicken.

On Tuesday, which was the first day that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell officially ended, Marine officials recruited new troops at various gay gathering spots. No word yet on how they were able to get backstage passes to Jersey Boys.

Federal prosecutors said Tuesday that the popular Full Tilt Poker website, which was shut down last spring, was not a legitimate poker site, but a “global Ponzi scheme.” And just like that, Rick Perry has a new, fun idea to fix Social Security.

At a fundraiser this week, First Lady Michelle Obama said that she thinks the gray in her husband’s hair is sexy. It marked the first time ever that an Obama kinda sorta said “thanks” to Glenn Beck.

In an interview with Rachael Ray this week, former President Bill Clinton said he was once approached to appear on the show “Dancing with the Stars”. He told them, “It depends on what your definition of dancing is.”

While speaking at a conference this week, Apple board member Al Gore inadvertently revealed the secret that the new iPhone 5 would be coming in October. Until October comes, however, the Tea Party is calling it a hoax.

After meeting with Governor Rick Perry this week in New York, Donald Trump praised the GOP Presidential contender saying “I had dinner with Jim Perry; I was impressed with him.”
Meanwhile, some guy named Jim Perry is wondering why a $200 dinner bill is on his Visa card.

Economists are saying that because of the poor economy many 20-somethings are facing dim financial prospects, and they have labeled them the “lost generation.” It’s a grim outlook, especially if you saw the series finale of “Lost”.

The Obama administration on Monday backed a proposal from the US Postal Service to end Saturday mail delivery and raise postage rates. The President would have backed it in June when it was originally mailed, but he just got it on Monday.