A new study shows that big NFL players are prone to high blood pressure.  What's worse, this provides yet another stat for dorks to keep up with in their fantasy leagues.

President Obama said going to Las Vegas was a great get-away.  Especially since on a Blackjack bet, he successfully lost Joe Biden. 

Afghanistan government officials destroyed a thousand books it claims were an insult to Sunnis.  They'll just read something else while in the john taking a Shiite. 

More and more states are requiring that drivers not smile on their licenses.  To make sure they comply, officials are making them look at a summary of their 401K. 

Hillary Clinton warned North Korea against actions they will certainly regret later.  Like letting Michigan and Florida hold their primaries early and not have their votes count. 

More and more college graduates have signed on to teach those in serious need of help, people like inner-city kids, orphans, and college graduates. 

A World War II era ship was purposely sunk off the coast of Florida.  To make sure it sank and stayed down, it was loaded with GM stock. 

O.J. Simpson is appealing his Nevada kidnapping conviction.  He's very serious because he said, "I'd kill for a second trial."

The Cavaliers now have their backs to the wall.  Well, they're piled on LeBron's back, which is against the wall, but same thing. 

The Red Wings are back in the Stanley Cup Finals.  When asked what they thought of being in the Super Bowl of hockey, all of Detroit responded, "What's the Super Bowl?"

The Disabled List for the Mets is getting longer and longer.  Which is the exact opposite of what their season does every year. 

Many of the above are now a part of the National Lampoon Sports Minute and the Complete Sheet.