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Middle East Tour, 2006

Camp Manas in Bishkek desperately needs Mapquest. At a flight line in Bagram, we try to master the military tradition of Kicking the tires. Just doing my part to ensure the C-17 is safe. I later made sure the brake lights worked. On board the Afghanistan mountains from the C-17 cockpit. Beauty, eh? In the restroom aboard a C-17. I find this amusing because someone had a pen and privacy. He could have written anything...something about the war, the president, himself. He chose to write with C-130 flight crew. A typical bunker. We piled into one of these at FOB Falcon. Just 4 feet away from a minefield. Much more daunting than the computer game. At the crossing sabres in Baghdad. Under a C-130 courtesy of the Tennessee Guard. All the weapons collected in Afghanistan caves over the years. Wow. In Afghanistan. Non-alcoholic beer?!?! My Saddam impression. Going to Kabul. Guess which one of the three feels most exposed and vulnerable. Effects of car wreck in Kabul. The other effects were my wet pants. Rehashing our car accident while on stage in Kabul. With our Iraq guide Sgt. Riebel. Great guy! With comics in Afghanistan...Danny Bevins, Tom Simmons, John Bizarre, and Dave Mishevitz. Preparing for mortar attack. Or chemistry lab. Ready for insurgents or hecklers. Poker after mortar attack at FOB Falcon left us stranded.. A briefing before our second Afghanistan caravan (after the car wreck). Not pictured...me because I feel ill. Captain H. and another officer, in their storm trooper gear, were quite composed during the Falcon incident. Free beer!! Just kidding...a few nationals run for cover at Falcon. The ammo depot at Falcon on fire, its contents exploding. With Abby at Falcon. With Captain H at Falcon. During the explosions, I told her to hug me and never let go. In the halls of the VIP building after ammo dump exploded. The front door at the Falcon headquarters went down after a concussion blast. With Sgt. Riebel and fellow comics in Iraq...Dave Mishevitz, Tom Foss, Drake Witham, and Steve Mazan. Winter in Baghdad. Soviet Migs in a junkyard at Al Asad. With the MPs who surrounded the crowd during our show at Al Asad in Iraq. I never knew my material required security. With MWR reps Linda and Crystal at Al Asad in Baghdad. The vests necessary for COD plane travel thankfully came with handy rosary beads. A jet lands on board the Enterprise. I later stole those peanuts. Checking out a jet booster on the Enterprise. I forget where this was, but it was impressive. On stage in the Enterprise hangar bay. No bachelorette parties present. On deck of the Enterprise. Holy crap it was amazing. With flight deck personnel on the Enterprise. With the cheetahs. The African heat even wears them out. Comic Steve Burr doing a Brandi Chastain impression after scoring a goal in Djibouti. During flight operations on the Enterprise. I can only assume that tray tables are in their upright positions. At the cheetah sanctuary, we are reminded to not scream nor run. We abided by this rule, but when nobody was looking, we scared the cats with a vacuum cleaner. With Djibouti orphans after a grueling soccer game. Preparing for the K9 attack. Notice the dog is already eager to get her some of me. The attack. Sorry for the lack of zoom, but trust me, you only missed me whimpering. EOD robot. With Lieutenant Moran in U.A.E. bt638 After being overwhelmed with a canine version of Stockholm Syndrome, I was drawn to Exa, the dog who attacked me earlier that day. With a 48-foot howitzer cannon in Baghdad. I need serious help with my camouflage techniques.
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