Middle East Tour, 2007-2008

Christmas in Bahrain. Just like Norman Rockwell envisioned.

With mosquito repellant in Djibouti. Keeps away malaria and mad cow disease.

Big shoes to fill in Djibouti.

Christmas in Djibouti, Africa. At least someone in this photo still has their dignity.

At The Grand Mosque in Bahrain. One car behind me is not facing Mecca.

A great sign inside the Bahrain mosque. If you have a

With Tom Foss, Robert Hawkins, and Jesse Joyce before taking a COD plane to USS Harry S Truman.

On board COD plane, looking like a bad ass.

The USS Harry S Truman has valet parking on ladies night.

On the USS Harry S Truman. I really only did it for the hat.

USS Truman hangar bay. It was one of these fighter jets that I plowed into while not paying attention.

Proof of plowing into a parked jet. Good thing chicks dig war wounds.

Driving the Winston Churchill. Notice the perfect 10-and-2 hand positioning.

On the Churchill looking rather Churchillian.

In Qatar. This is what George C. Scott would have looked like if

In the cockpit of a C-130, I was surrounded by some incredible technology. And a pencil sharpener.

With some members of the 101st Airborne from Fort Campbell, based near Nashville.

When you wear the 101st Airborne patch, you have to look a little badass.

With Jesse Joyce and Iraqi soldier in Baghdad.

At the Iraqi tomb of the unknown soldier.

The tomb of the unknown soldier is next to the weirdest looking barbershop pole in the world.

With our fearless escort through Iraq, Jackie.

Cue that song by Credence Clearwater Revival

The Olan Mills photo of the week.

At a chow hall at Yusufiyah. Mmmmmmm.

With the guys and General Joe Anderson at Multi-National Headquarters in Baghdad.

At Saddam&#039;s old palace. I stole me some towels.

Hello, ladies.

Showing off one of my three guns.

One more direct hit and I would have won a free case of Rogaine.

Entertaining the 101st Airborne at Yusufiyah.

If the Heisman Trophy featured a missile.

The MRAP is the Saturn station wagon of the desert. Actually, God I hope not.

At the hospital, sick with the Iraqi flu, where I had the chills, fever, and the Shiites. Thank you, everybody!